Be realistic

Be realistic. Who said that you can make things happen? I was thinking to myself... Pretty much most of my life. Because my past experience constantly reminded me of the times when... I failed. I failed entry exams to one of the top universities in Moscow. So I had to go to an average university. I failed the English test when I was applying for a Master’s degree. So my arrival in London was postponed. I failed at job interviews. So I felt stuck with career progression for over a year. You know what was the most painful thing in…

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I should get married before 30.

I should get married before 30. I repeated these words like a mantra in my head. Partly because I was brought up this way. Partly because everyone around me was getting married in their 20s. So I believed that was the right way of living. Years went by... And I was not getting any closer to buying a wedding dress. So I started thinking... If it’s not happening. Maybe something is wrong with me... Maybe some evil eye looked at me in childhood? And I was cursed since then. I even considered going to an astrologist. Because I needed reassurance…

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I was always busy with something.

I was always busy with something. So I wrote down long to do lists to navigate my days. I would make a note of every deadline, unanswered email or pending whatever. And if I couldn’t put a tick next to the task. I would feel really anxious. Because everything seemed like an emergency. Trying to keep up with emergencies daily. Felt like running a treadmill. And every day someone was increasing the speed. At some point, I felt out of breath… …and I stopped. I asked myself. Why am I doing this? The answer was… I simply confused urgent and…

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